Processing...

Our evaluation with the child psychologist and occupational therapist was last Wednesday.

I thought I would update right away, but honestly it was a lot to process.

And we don't know the results until this Friday.

Honestly, I am still not sure what to think of the experience or what I was told. Currently, autism of any level is "off the table" according to what the psychologist told us at the evaluation. Apparently, he is too talkative. Having met autistic children and adults and parents of autistic kids, I know very well that autistic individuals can be talkative and social. I found it really odd - and frankly wrong - to take autism out of the equation simply based on the fact that he interrupted me hundred times during the evaluation.

And then I get this feeling of guilt that I am "upset" or "confused" about autism not being a possibility - obviously as a mother I would love for a doctor to see and say he is totally normal. Except that is not what she said - she said that we are obviously looking at "something", most likely severe ADHD and SPD (sensory processing disorder). She said that many of the symptoms/behaviors can mimic autism, especially Aspergers/high functioning. Even with her admitting that his behaviors (especially in repetitive behaviors/stimming) appear autistic, she refused to use the autism diagnostic checklist during their playtime.

If she decides this is what he is dealing with (ADHD/SPD mix), the only options we have are occupational therapy (OT) and later on, medication. When I expressed my worry that while he does okay in school now (3 hours, twice a week), that he could be overwhelmed later on when it is 8 hours a day, five days a week her answer was "well, that is when you use medication".

We are already doing the other things suggested, like diet changes (he doesn't have sweets, sugar, junk, and after taking out food colorings we saw no difference though we do avoid them in general anyway). We already are using the parenting techniques she mentioned. I feel as though she heard our cry for help and answered with a generic label.

We will see what Friday holds. What her final conclusion is. If nothing else, we have gotten in touch with an OT that we like through this (who was much more helpful!) and at least she is taking his sensory issues seriously. We also get the "results" of the school testing on Friday, I thought they were helpful as well when I met with them during that evaluation.

In case you can't tell, I am still processing, I am feeling muddled. And I am feeling rather foolish that I hoped the first doctor we met with would listen to me and take his entire history into account, not just the good day he was having that day. I came in to her specifically with questions about "Level 1" Autism - because when I read those criterea, when I look at the books and the examples and the checklists, I see my boy in the pages. I can absolutely accept that it can be something else, but I at least want my concerns taken seriously.

Everyday since the evaluation has been very hard for Rocket Boy - he is in a sensitive period right now, and everything and anything is setting him in tantrums, fear, or crying. I can see the confusion in his eyes when he can't handle the world, and it makes me even more determined to make someone listen. I'm his mom, I know him better than anyone, and I know that I have to work for him to find out what our answer is - no matter what that ends up being.